A memory came up in my Facebook feed today that I’d posted a year ago this morning.
It was a Saturday morning. Jan 25, 2020. I can tell you the exact day of the week, because I know the days of the week that followed.
But before I get into all that, I want to post for you what I wrote. Remember. Jan 25, 2020.
Here it is.
Jan 25, 2020
“I’m not even playing anymore. I’ve heard and seen and had my eyes opened to so much in the ways of spiritual warfare since 2020 began.
It’s brought me closer to God when honestly part of me wanted to fight and pull away.
It’s got me praying with and over my friends and family first thing in the morning, during my lunch breaks, and right before I fall asleep.
And the enemy is fighting like crazy to keep a foot hold in my life. Trying to influence my loved ones and me. And it’s scary on a whole other level.
But my God, as a friend reminded me, is greater than anything we will face. He IS.
May we not grow weary of doing good. For in due time we will reap what we sow.
I’m praying for friends and family turned enemies. I’m praying for protection and guidance and softened hearts.
For His word tells us:
Seek and you shall find. Ask and you shall receive. Knock and the door will be opened.
For as Luke 10:19 proclaims, we have been given authority “over all the power of the Enemy.”
Continued prayers my friends. God has a plan”
This post… this memory… is so significant. It signifies and reminds that GOD KNOWS… even when we don’t. 😭
What is significant about this post, my words, and the picture…
Is I posted it on January 25, 2020. Not knowing what would happen the very next day… Jan 26.
Not knowing what would happen on Jan 27… and Jan 30. And the road I would have to walk every day in between… and after.
In the picture- I’d taken it while sitting on my queen sized bed. In the midst of my kids running around, playing, I’d decided to seek God in the midst of my single mom life.
I’d gone with my Bibles, The Power of a Praying Wife, and a Captain America mug of coffee to my bedroom to sit and pray and seek God.
In the picture, you see a mug. It is “only” a mug, but it was also a Christmas gift.
It was given to me by my boyfriend, who would only days after this photo was taken, be in heaven.
I spoke on my original post on how I was done playing. That I’d seen too much spiritual warfare. Experienced too much.
And I was serious about the power of prayer. I still am. Even more so.
And I had The Power of a Praying Wife out reading it beside my Bible.
Although I wasn’t married to him, I prayed for my boyfriend DAILY, MULTIPLE times a day, in that season. This time last year.
I was praying for him, Jan 25… not knowing he’d be in heaven only days later.
In fact, there’s a very specific prayer I prayed over him. And I wrote down the dates in that book. Every day I prayed for him, I wrote it down.
And I posted this. Not knowing how very much would change… just two days later. After I posted this.
Because Jan 27, 2020, my life was forever changed.
And only 5 days after I posted this picture… 5 days later.
Jan 30, 2020. Life took another, even more drastic turn. And I lost… everything.
Everything that mattered to me.
Everything… except my faith.
We overcome by the blood of the lamb, and the word of our testimony. Revelation 12:11
And I keep hinting at it. But know that I will one day be sharing my story with more people. On a larger platform. People that need to hear.
They need to hear how far I fell. How much I lost.
And how much God redeemed.
Because our God is the God of redemption. And restoration.
And in losing everything that mattered to me… I had a choice. Run to God, or away from Him. And I ran to Him.
And in that season of greatest loss- which I am STILL walking out, day by day. I found a closer relationship to Him than I’d ever known in my 33 years prior.
Romans 8:28 “For we know that ALL things work together for GOOD for those who love Him, and are called according to his purpose.”
On Jan 30, 5 days after I posed this picture and these words, on the power of prayers…. I lost everything.
I lost my family.
I lost friends.
I lost my home.
I lost my job.
I lost the car I was driving.
I lost my loved one, officially. He was pulled from life support that day.
And while I can say “I lost my life”, meaning I lost my normal. All semblance of it. Very true.
I almost literally lost my life- my actual life- too.
But God saved me.
God. Saved. Me.
I didn’t disappear for a year following this picture being taken because I wanted to. I didn’t completely drop off the radar for a year because, eh. No. I signed out for a year because I needed healing.
When I say I lost everything, I did. And I needed healing in a very intensive, intentional way. And I got it. I received it.
At Mercy Multiplied. And through prayers of some of my closest friends walking out what this “losing everything” looked like.
I found healing and got “my life back” because of God.
But the fall out from what happened in late January, A YEAR AGO… I’m STILL living it. Living in the fall out. The remnant of a life completely turned upside down.
But despite me still being in the middle of “picking up all the pieces” of what was, and is, and will be…
All of that to say: TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
I was given EVERY reason to turn from God. And I did not. I have not. I WILL NOT.
God is still good. And I will tell you that until the day I go to meet Him.
Because I lost EVERYTHING…. except my faith. And even when I thought that that wasn’t enough… it was. And it still is.
His grace IS sufficient.
God is still good, and I stand on that truth. Despite what my current circumstances are. Despite what may or may not come.
Whether you want to believe it or not, we are in a spiritual war. Whether you wanted to be or not, you are.
And God is real. But God is good. His truth still stands. And the ONLY hope we have is in Jesus Christ.
And this is coming from someone who lost EVERYTHING. Who is STILL reeling from loss.
Because my story matters. Because GOD matters. And I’ve made it my mission to get the truth out to as many people as possible. Because people- this NATION- needs to hear it.
My testimony matters. And so does yours.
We overcome by the blood of the lamb and THE WORD OF OUR TESTIMONY.
To God be the glory, forever and ever. Amen